Mi cleearn un, does tha knaw?
Ah've lukked, an Ah can't find it,
It's no-oan up here in t'draw.
"Did Ah luk wheer? Aye, course Ah did!
Ah've hed t'draw upside dahn.
If summat doesn't happen sooin,
Ah's ne'er get wheer Ah'm bahn.
"Well, flippin 'eck, Ah'v f'un it nah,
Just like me - in a rush
Aye, theer it wor - laid aht on't top,
Ah'm as daft as onny brush.
"Ow Martha, as tha seen me stud?
Noa lass, Ah didn't swear!
In t'ornament? Ah knaw, which one -
There's thahsands of 'em heer!
"In t'blew un? Reight Ah'll have a luk
...which blew un does tha mean?
Ah've lukked in t'purple an t'lilac uns
...all reight, Ah''l luck ageean.
"Nah wheer's me britches gotten to?
Tha what? The're under t'bed?
Nah, who did that? The must be daft
...Aye, DAFT, that's what Ah said.
Awww, under t'mattress, gerrin creased!
Ah though tha meant on t'floor!
Ah knaw Ah pu'em theer mi sen -
Ah've ad em ther afore.
"All reight, all reight, Ah'm nearly donned,
Just gi mi booits a rub,
Ow, si thee lass, it's hawf past eight
Ah moan't be late for t'club!"
Photo from old old-chum.com
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