T'day that t'Vicar Cem ter Tea

Tha's shown me up, ah feel ashamed,

A'll nivver bi able to od mi 'ead up agean. 

What ivver got inter thi A'll nivver see,

On t'day that t'vicar cem ter tea.

Tha spilt thee tea all ovver t'cloth

An wi thi shirt sleeve mopped it up.

Yer shouted at 'poor owd cat. Oh deary me,

On t'day that t'vicar cem ter tea.

Yer drunk yer tea ah't at t'saucer,
In fact, did ivvery thing tha didn't oughter,

Ther wer no need ter go on t'spree

On t'day that t'vicar cem ter tea.

Yer telled 'im tales that wer quite tall,
An jokes tha shouldn't ah telled at all,
Ah bet he wondered what I saw in thee
On t'day that t'vicar cem ter tea.

What med yer ask where ad got t'china cups from,

An wot were t'matter wi t'owd pint pots.

An ah eddent borrowed t'cloth from Mrs B,

On t'day that t'vicar cem ter tea.

Yer don't ask such as a reverend guest

What brew of ale hi thowt wer t'best.

An which hoss hi fancied for t'quarter to three 

On t'day that t'vicar cem ter tea.

Ah saw thee grin an wink yer ee,

On t'day that t'vicar cem ter tea,
An watch his face, t'expression on it
When yer pulled a ferret from yer pocket!

He wer only bein' polite when ee said he'd enjoyed the salmon
So ther wer no need ter tell 'im I'd won t'tin in a raffle,

"Or else it would av bin cheese spread"

Ah cud ev thrown t'teapot at yer 'ead!

On t'day that t'vicar cem ter tea

Yer med me go all hot an' vexed,
Wondering what tha wer bahn ter say next.
But Ah suppose I owt ter thankful be
It wor t'vicar, not t'Bishop, who cum fer tea!

Photo from Ardleigh's Past website
(http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~melanie/oldphotos.htm)