"It's not goin' to be a big do!"
Just nearest relations on 'is side an ahrs;
beyond that, not one mother's son.
It's us as pay's t'piper, and we're calling't tune
and that's what Ah'll stick to fer one.
...but wi might stretch a point for mi Aunt Alice Ann,
an' even mi cousin, John Spink.
An if there's fowks think as it's cos they've some brass,
well, all I can say is: "Let 'em think!"
Still, it's noa fair use askin' fer gossip an' talk,
ther's enough o' that knockin abaht!
So we'll ask mi Aunt Ada an' their Mary Jane,
cos it's very well known that they've nowt.
But there's mi Aunt Martha - yer knaws what shoos like!
Why, it's fifty ter one yer c'n bet,
if we asked mi Aunt Ada an' din't ask 'er
there'd bi murder done t'next time they met.
An if Mary Jane comes, mi Aunt Martha'll expect
ter bring all 'er tribe, ivvery one!
An' there's T'Lord knaws ahh many as much reight as them -
Ah doan't knaw what's ter be done.
One leads to another, they're still mountin' up;
Ah doan't knaw whativer to do.
We heven't put one dahn on t'other side yet
an wi'v gotten ter seventy-two!
We'll hev ter start reight at t'beginnin' agean,
wi'v letten it all go ter far.
If this here's a weddin, t'next weddin we hev,
Ahs'll tell 'em ter stop as they are!
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