T'Messiah

Ted Buckley wer a smart lookin chap, yer naw,
When ee donned issen up a courtin ta goa.
E courted a lass a little bit soft, 
Bu'rree warn't much better, cos ee went middlin oft.

E went fower times a week, an sometimes moor,

E got there in good time, but he din't know when ter goa.

But ther once come a neet when he were rather la,
T'poor lass din't know whether ee'd got lost er wat.

It were't Sunda afoor Christmas, ah well remember t'day,
Cos early snow ad fallen an reight thick it lay.
Nine o'clock struck an ther wer no sight a Ted
But she's noan 'ev expected him, if shoo'd been reight i'er 'ed.

Owivver shoo edn't much longer ta wait
Afoor sh'erd somda rettlin' at t'gate.

In a jiffy t'doar oppened an Ted walked straight in
Sher looked as farl as sher could, burr'ed same old grin.

"It's a rough neet," He said as ee sat dahn i't chair.
"Ther's bin many a war," shoo said wi a sneer.

"Ther's naw need ter blame it all o't snow.
Wheer tha bin callin, that's wharr Ah'd like ter know!"

He said, "Thah think Ah've bin ter t'pub suppin ale,
But tha'll change thi tune when Ah tells yer mi tale."

Ah've bin tert chepil t'arken to t'choir,
Ther've bin givin selections through 'Andel's Messiah.
T'new parson were theer burree dint speak long,
Cos ee wanted t'arken to this service o'song.

Ah can't remember each item just as it went,
But Ah'll try t'explain what Ah thowt it meant.

Ther sang o' some sheep as ad gotten astray
An bi what Ah understand ther'd all gone a different way.
Ah don't naw ah many or ah much ther cost,
But that dunt matter - main thing is, ther wer lost.

Then a young man gorrup an sung bi issen
Whether ther wer 'is sheeep at were lost, Ah sure ah can't tell.
Cos he sed ivvery mahntain an 'ill bi med low,
An Ah thowt - aye-up - ther bahn ter find t'sheep, choos weer ther goa.

Then a young lass gorrup an in a reight clear voice
Shoo said the'd no need ter sorrow, but greatly rejoice.
It wer a stiff piece - Ahm shoor it wer 'ard wark,
But shoo sang it as easy as if shoo wer a lark.

Ah axed oo sher wer, so's Ah could eer er again some day,
(Shoo's leadin serpranna an ther call er Miss Ray)
Then up jumped a chap - ee, an e wer cross,
Ah wondered if ther'd ta'en is sheep fer't them that wer lost!

E said ther'd imagined a vain thing an, ee, an e wer in a rage,
An t'organist banged as if e wer in for a wage!
T'audience wer fair suited - yer could tell bi ther face,
When 'id finished 'is piece an sat dahn in 'is place.

T'other singers were that mad at 'im bein sa clever,
Ther gorrup an sang it'd rain fer ivver an ivver.
So ah med fer t'doar as fast as Ah could,
Ah thowt Ah mun be off if ther's bahn ter be a flood."

So when e'd finished tellin 'er abaht t'Messiah,
E sed, "Nah then - attah satisfied, Sofia?"
Shoo sed, "EE, Ted, that sahnded fair grand."
An shoo'd go see it ersen next time it kem rahnd.