To t'carpenter's shop
Our Kate sent 'er 'usband
Ter buy a new prop
T'boss carpenter cut him
A varry nice job
An charged 'im no more
Than a couple o bob
As Fred hugged it sideways
Across yond shop floor
He fair 'ad a struggle
Ter ger outta t'door
"NAY, t'other road round!"
T'boss carpenter cried,
As t'village policeman
Were passin outside
Then out like a lancer
Went Fred wi 'is prop
An what were 'is target?
What else but yond cop!
"Ah'm sorry!" said Fred,
As e saw t'bobby drop,
"Ah'm in rather an 'urry,
Ah'v no time ter stop.
"Fer two a three minutes,
Until Ah'm off t'scene
Here's hoping thi helmet
Stops ovver thi aeen."
An off e skidaddled,
But somehow bi then
He'd gotten his clothes prop
Turned sideways agen
A reight skittle alley
He made o t'main street
Each Tom, Dick n Harry
Were soon off 'is feet
Except fer Sam Bailey,
Who havin taken t'trouble
Ter tee a loose bootlace,
Wer bent ammost double
Sam didn't escape altogether, at that,
For as t'prop
Passed over 'im,
Off went 'is hat!
At last home Fred landed
A bit short o putt
When t'missus addressed 'im
"Tha's ta'en long enough!"
Then, lookin' it ovver,
"An trust thee to fotch..."
Said Kate, "A new clothes prop
Wi art any notch!"
"That's easily remedied,
Leave it to me, I'll fix it..."
Said Fred, "In a jiffy,
Tha'll see!"
An standin' t'new clothes prop
Agen his back wall
He went for a saw,
'Is long ladder an all.
On t'first run o t'ladder
He'd hardly set fooit,
When Kate cried: "NAY, bone head!
That's no way to do it!
"Tha's allus been lackin
In simple good sense,
I nivver knew nob'dy
So dateless an dense!"
Then on her instructions
He went off inside
To t'back bedroom winder,
An opened it wide
An down on t'back flagstones
Kate steadied yond prop
As Fred, up aboon,
Put a notch in at t'top!
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